FTDT

Cityfest.

Scarlet Oaks? Yes.
The Readies? Yes
The Zombies? Not quite.  You know, when I see the Zombies drop a cover of Ray Charles’ Sticks & Stones, and all it really does for me is make me miss The Sights, that’s probably a bad thing for them.  Zombies that is, not Sights.

That one guy from The Sights is going to play with Stirling tonight, or tomorrow, or whenever.  I for one cannot wait to hear Stirlings riveting introduction of himself.  If he reads it off of a paper like he did with Scarlet Oaks I’m going to boo loudly.  He should really come out and say “This is some Stirling shit right here, this is the real deal.”  That one killed.

I saw The Clone Defects at the end of the night yesterday.  Timmy Vulgar has never let me down.  This was no different.  I have no idea why by song number 2 in the set the merch table was cleared.  I’m hoping this was due to a merchandise sell out, and not laziness.  PUNK ROCK DIY MOTHERFUCKERS.

Someone else needs to post a review of Scott Allen’s new project that played at The Lager House.  Something better than “I caught 2 songs, it was great, I forget their name.”  I already got that one, and am unimpressed with it.  Tell me more.

Also, please text me around 8:15 this evening and let me know what we’re doing after all of this nonsense, so it’s not mass confusion again.  To return the favor, I will tell you what you’re doing after all the nonsense tomorrow.  Deal.

Also also, I’m glad detroit is operating well enough on the major things so that they now can start enforcing the municipal code that states, “It shall be unlawful for any person to operate or use a bicycle propelled wholly or in part by muscular power upon any of the streets or sidewalks of the city without first obtaining a license therefore from the city.” via WDIV

It’s nice to be in a city that frowns on:
Murder (sometimes)
MAJOR Drug offenses (sometimes)
and Bicycles.

Now that we have the big 3 covered, we should really look at these laws to ensure we continue Detroit’s commitment to safety.

As I was heading to Cityfest, it looked like it was going to get really nasty.  With a few phone calls, it was clear that the events would be canceled.  Acting on a hot tip that a few bands may stop by The Garden Bowl to play, that’s where I went instead.  What I got at first was a line of kids with black X’s on their hands, and a pretty empty Garden Bowl.  The speculations were still pouring in, and eventually it turned into The Hentchmen, Magic Shop, Dead Bodies and  The Silent Years all doing sets.  This was about the best idea anyone could’ve come up, so a big thank you to all the staff over there at The Garden Bowl who made that happen and put up with all of us drunk idiots.  It was a blast.

I’ll preface this entire paragraph with the statement that “I like The Hentchmen.”  I do.  They just happen to be the example I’m going to use because I saw this happen yesterday.  I will never understand why bands are incapable of handling their own sound.  None of them.  Ever.  The Hentchmen went through a grueling soundcheck, which I completely understand because the sound is not ideal in The Garden Bowl.  So after what seemed like forever of tweaks and twists, and moving this microphone on some diagonal that won’t cause feedback, they went through a full live soundcheck with everyone playing at once.  It sounded fine.  Every time a band gets the sound tolerable, it is a GUARANTEE that they will turn around and start fucking with things to make the sound not tolerable.  Do you think once The Sound Nazi at The Crofoot wouldn’t eat your whole face off if he got the sound right and you started making adjustments?  I was mildly annoyed for a minute, then The Hentchmen covered The Misfits, and all was right with the world again.

No one is silly enough to say that Steve Nawara isn’t a talented dude.   Is what he does right up my alley?  Not exactly.  Is he really good at what he does?  Definitely.  Was this band Magic Shoppe before it was Magic Shop?  Maybe I’m totally making that up.

The questions as to why these two bands played the first two spots were met with plenty of snarky jokes.  From all of the old people having to be home to catch an episode of murder she wrote, to one of the bands being a certain music editor’s alarm clock.  People are cruel.

The Dead Bodies played too.  Any more talk of these guys being great is redundant.  I’ll sign up any time for “more of the same” when the same equals being awesome.   I heard they were playing Saturday night up in the Magic Stick for some birthday party bar bazaar summer wonderland.  You should come.  Here’s what other people say about The Dead Bodies:

- “equal parts David Lynch and the Shins” - SPIN.com

- “Electronic-ized self-described acid rock from a Shelby Township quartet that’s named “anger, anxiety and depression” as the three main emotions of rock ‘n’ roll.” - MetroTimes

- “The Dead Bodies are fucking crazy.” – Real Detroit Weekly

- “One of the more interesting bands in the next wave of Detroit rockers.” - The Detroit News

- “The Dead Bodies are by far one of the best bands in Detroit…” - Real Detroit Weekly

- “Dead Bodies? It’s getting ridiculous to watch this band be that good. It’s not even niche good, because it appears they’ve written songs in so many different styles and appear to just pull them out of their ass whenever they feel like it.” - some awesome dude

I missed The Silent Years because it was 1:30am, or something.  If you treat your Wednesday like a Saturday, your Saturday is going to feel like, well.. I don’t know.  But it will feel fucked up for sure.  At this point I’m just hoping for rain again.  Sgt. Pepperoni doesn’t require me to have tickets anyway.

Over the past X amount of years I’ve attended countless benefits thrown in Detroit. Some very worthwhile, some absolutely outrageous, and some where I wasn’t sure. All of this has prepped me to throw my very own benefit.. but I figure it should probably be a benefit for you.

Saturday is my official birthday, and I thought it would be great if some of you would like to come hang out with me. Leave your gifts at home, and just tell me that I’m pretty. I love that shit. The party is at the Magic Stick on Saturday night, the deck will be open so you can keep drinking outside like you had been all day, and you can see Deastro & The Dead Bodies for the low price of Zero Dollars. PS - It’s all ages. The things I do for you kids..

On top of all of that, Art F*g returns to throw in some prerecorded jams, between real live jams.. a Baar Bazaar featuring comics and used records, and Bad Party kicking it all off somewhere around 10pm.

Hope you can make it out, see you sometime tomorrow. Partly Sunny and 87.. bring the sunblock.

 Beck - Soul Of A Man: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

So some people thought it was a good idea Saturday to come out to see White Hinterland in Pontiac. Great. It was a good show, but I do have an issue. The album tracks are kind of long and drawn out, with ambient noise and other such things. Smashed between those periods of ambient noise are really good songs. If I’m home and listening to the album, I take no issue at all with that. However, If you’re at a show, the solid minute of weirdo loops and bird chirps and such things have a harder time transferring. I wish I could cite a reference, but I know I’ve seen bands where I’ve been thrilled that they obviously reworked their album tracks to make them more live-friendly.

The pleasant surprise of the night was The Entertainer, a local guy I’d never seen play before. I’m pretty sure google told me that “The Entertainer” was the absolute worst name to take on as a one man folk guy.. but trust me that he was good. He had a ukulele, and this pedal that at times would double his voice with a higher pitch voice. Any time I see a “guy with a guitar” act, that is making the effort to do something a little differently than the other billion of them, I appreciate it.

Most of you have seen this video, and heard the story..
Noel Gallagher from Oasis said there shouldn’t be a rapper headlining Glastonbury Festival.. Jay-Z covers Wonderwall.
I’ve yet to decide if this is “The best worst idea ever!” or “The worst best idea ever!” But it’s one of those, I think. I do know that “realized that you wanna do” is not a lyric that appears in the original, and if you’re going to do something funny like this, details matter.

This guy went to see Pat Benatar, too.  He thought a lot of the same thoughts that I was thinking, and typed them out earlier.  The only part of our stories differ, is where I was sitting on my lawn chair that I had set up for PRIME viewing, and this behemoth shows up in the VIP and decides he’s going to STAND UP right in front of me.  I showed him my ten fingers and then told him there were three hundred people trying to see.  He looked confused.

One of the better parts of the VIP area, were the moments when common people were trying to sneak in.  Sitting beside me were a mother, and a son or daughter who was autistic, or retarded, and obviously partially deaf.  This gnarly dude snuck in near the back row, reeking of the ganja, and sat next to this mother.  I watched because I knew this was going to get incredible, and it did.  The mentally handicapped deaf child popped up real fast, and pointed at him/herself while looking at the stoned biker dude, and started making noise and speaking to him in sign language.  The kid was really excited about Pat Benatar, and had a very long but not very understood conversation with this guy.  The non-VIP biker had that head cocked, leaned back, “no shit?” type look on his face and I was really hoping he wasn’t going to do or say something douchey.  After the deaf exchange he just looked at the kid, raised his arm and said “High Five!”  All was right in the world.

My night ended around 4am, at City Club.  Please read that sentence again, for maximum ridiculousness.

Tonight I’m heading to Pontiac.  Which is the antidote for City Club.

The story of how I figured this out is pretty incredible. A five year old I know pretty well was singing this, and I freaked out, and kept saying “SING THAT AGAIN!” Then I figured out it was not what I thought it was.. but close.

I’m not sure who needs the lawyer.. But lets agree that Kiddo should get the song based on their version being better.

1-800-CALL-SAM, dudes.

THE CHALLENGER

THE CHAMPION

Remember last week when I said I had an announcement to make this week?  I do.  A couple, actually.  Just not right now.  C.R.E.A.M.

Someone asked me on a date to see Pat Benetar tonight.  Something about VIP seating, something about love being a battlefield, and the realization that there is absolutely nothing else going on tonight caused me to accept this invitation.  It should end early, so if I’m completely missing something that I should be seeing or doing feel free to let me know.  I’d like to know.

The Metro Times has a nice story about local show poster designers.  I used to be a show poster dork, with plans to get some portfolio and leave it on a coffee table or something.  I realized then, that I wasn’t an art dork, and couldn’t believe large portfolios were hundreds of dollars.  Just last week I was tipped off from a real live art person where to get a cheap one, so I’m going to put that on my to do list.. because I still have a few posters laying around.

I understand that music is not the important part for you folks. What is important, is knowing something, or seeing something before everyone else knows it, or sees it.. and then waiting for the opportunity to arise where you get to tell someone else what you knew, or saw, before them.

All jokes aside, this Saturday at Vernors (which is inside The Crofoot complex) there will be a girl, playing music. I will copy the press release to provide you the details, but I would like to note that you can come with me to see her play a room that holds 100 people Saturday, or see her next year opening for someone else in some theater with a 50$ ticket. Best case scenario is that you go to both, but make sure you tell everyone next year that you saw her last year for 5$ in an amazing little club the size of a basement. Take your pick.

As a matter of fact, I’ll sweeten the deal even more. You can tell everyone you were on the guest list for the show. Because you will be, if you email me. A pair of guest list spots, the opportunity to hang out with me.. this is The Deal Of The Century.

 White Hinterland - Lindberghs + Metal Birds: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

VERNORS SAT 6/28 WHITE HINTERLAND • $5 • 8PM
The outstanding new project from 22-year-old Casey
Dienel. From Gorillavsbear.net: “When Dead Oceans sent over ‘Dreaming
of the Plum Trees,’ I could’ve sworn I’d heard it somewhere before;
maybe in some lost animated Christmas special I saw as a kid, or
buried away on one of my parents’ dusty LPs. On ‘Dreaming’ — and much
of the wonderful Phylactery Factory LP, for that matter — White
Hinterland recalls pieces of Guaraldi, Sufjan Stevens, and Joni
Mitchell at once, as Ms. Dienel’s endearing voice skates over that
instantly familiar bassline and playful, jazzy piano shuffle,
resulting in one of the best records of this young year … I’ve got a
feeling this one is going to make its way onto quite a few year-end
lists.”

I am sick of negative people who just sit around trying 2 plot my downfall… Why???? I understand if people don’t like me because I like me or if people think tight clothes look gay or people say I run my mouth to much, But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I’ve ever had in my life. This is the most offended I’ve ever been… this is the maddest I ever will be. I’m typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want…. arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of…. BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL! THIS SHOWS NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING THERE WILL BE PEOPLE THERE TO LIE ABOUT YOU AND BRING YOU DOWN! LIKE WAYNE SAYS PLEASE DON’T SHOOT ME DOWN CAUSE I’M FLYING! I’M FUCKING HURT BY THIS ONE. ALL I CARE ABOUT ARE THE FANS. JUST SAY THIS OUT LOUD IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, “KANYE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT GIVING A GOOD PERFORMANCE.” CAN ANYONE HONESTLY SAY THAT ????????? HAS ANYONE EVEN TAKEN THE TIME TO AT LEAST DO THE MATH??? BONNAROO SHOULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT IN MY DEFENSE BUT SINCE THEY HAVEN’T LET’S BREAK DOWN THE WALLS ON THIS TRUMAN SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY OCCURRED!!! FOR OVER A MONTH WE WENT BACK AND FORTH ON WETHER OR NOT WE COULD EVEN FIT MY STAGE AT THE FESTIVAL. ONE DAY THEY WOULD SAY YES… WE’D SEND THEM OUR SPECS THEN THEY THEY’D SAY OK… THEN THEY WOULD SEND SPECS BACK THAT DIDN’T FIT THE STAGE. WE WERE OBVIOUSLY DEALING WITH FUCKING IDIOTS WHO DIDN’T REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO REALLY PUT ON THIS SHOW PROPERLY. THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE … I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT’S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS! MY PEOPLE WORKED OUT A COMPROMISED STAGE PLOT AND A 3AM TIME SLOT AND I AGREED. FAST FOWARD TO THE DAY OF THE SHOW. MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN’T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR
LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THAT POINT WE’RE RACING AGAINST THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT 4:20AM DON COMES BACK 2 THE BUS AND TELLS ME, ” IT WOULD TAKE 45 MORE MINUTES TO PUT ALL YOUR PYRO IN!” I SAY I HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE . I HIT THE STAGE AND PEOPLE HAD BEEN THROWING SHIT ON THE STAGE AND HAD ACTUALLY HIT THE JANE SCREEN WITH, I GUESS BOTTLES OR SOMETHING AND HAD BROKEN MY FUCKING SCREEN. REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A SHORTY AND WATER WOULD HIT THE TV?????? WHEN I GOT 2 “THROUGH THE WIRE” I STEPPED ON THE FRONT PART OF MY STAGE AND THERE WAS SO MUCH LIQUID ON THE STAGE I COULDN’T MOVE WITHOUT SLIPPING. I HAD TO ADJUST MY WHOLE PERFORMANCE STYLE BECAUSE OF IT. A FEW MORE SONGS IN AND THE SONG WAS ON IT’S WAY UP.. I CUT A FEW SONGS FROM THE SET BECAUSE I WANTED PEOPLE 2 EXPERIENCE STRONGER WHILE THERE WAS STILL SOME DARKNESS TO PERFORM IT IN. I’VE STRUGGLED WITH STRONGER FROM IT’S CONCEPTION. REMEMBER LAST SUMMER WHEN I CANCELED SOME TV APPEARANCES. IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO PERFORM STRONGER IN THE DAYTIME. ANYONE WHO CAME TO THE GLOW TOUR CAN UNDERSTAND WHY I WANTED PEOPLE TO SEE IT PROPERLY. IT BROKE MY HEART THAT I COULDN’T GIVE THESE FANS STRONGER IN IT’S GREATEST FORM… BY THE TIME I GOT TO STRONGER IT WAS DAYTIME AND IT BROKE MY HEART. I’M SORRY TO EVERYONE THAT I DIDN’T HAVE THE ABILITY 2 GIVE THE PERFORMANCE I WANTED TO. I’M SORRY… SOMETIMES I GO 2, 3 DAYS W/O SLEEP WORKING ON MY PERFORMANCE… I HAVE TO ICE MY KNEES AFTER EVERY SHOW AND THEY HURT WHEN I WALK THROUGH THE AIRPORT… HAVING AN EXPENSIVE STAGE CUTS MY PAYDAY IN HALF… CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL!!!

So, this time there wasn’t much triumph over the tragedy.

xo THL